Elizabeth

If you’re looking for a really good, high class movie, then I suggest you look elsewhere, cos this isn’t it. Which is odd, since on paper, it ought to be. This film has sumptuous settings and costumes, a new spin on the story of the Virgin Queen, and a cast list to die for. It should have been a block buster.

So what went wrong? Several things.

Firstly, there’s the practice of playing fast and loose with history. If you have any knowledge of the period, this is in places bad enough to be distracting. I started compiling a list of historical inaccuracies, only to find that these people had beaten me to it. So don’t risk watching this to get your history GCSE.

Secondly, there’s the incidental music. Or is that, accidental music, since at times it resembles a train wreck. Anachronistic in the extreme (including excerpts from Mozart and Elgar, for crying out loud!) it is at best distracting and at worst downright intrusive.

But the worst failing of this film is the poor characterisations in the script. True Elizabeth (beautifully played by Cate Blanchett) develops from naive girl to absolute monarch, but everyone else around her seems unable to get beyond two dimensions. Even Chris struggles to make the Duke something more than a moustache twirling villain, succeeding only in the final moments before his arrest, when the Evil Traitor is revealed as a surprisingly tender lover. And one who apparently fails to avenge himself on the mistress he knows has betrayed him.

So if you’re looking for one of Chris’s usual complex, conflicted characters, you’re out of luck. On the other hand, if you like to see him striding manfully around (albeit in slightly silly costume), and being mean, moody and masculine, then this movie might appeal to you.

Before the screencaps, a small warning. As with Jude, I have capped the entire movie including *that* scene. So if you don’t want to see Chris in a compromising position with an actress, you might want to close your eyes over that bit. The film is rated 15 by the UK censors, and I’m trusting viewers to use their discretion.

Click on the thumbnails for full size.

		Does my bum look big in this?
The ultimate fantasy...	...he strides into the bedroom...	...thrusts aside the curtains...
...and LEAVES? That's not right!
Come on everyone!	Row row row yourboat...
What is the meaning of this?	My Lord, you are under arrest...	For wearing a really dodgy nightshirt!
Doesn't it just make you wish...	...for a nice bowl...	...of pasta!

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